“Do not let the endless succession of small things crowd great ideals out of sight and out of mind.”
-Charlotte Mason
When my oldest was a little girl, she did not frolic in the out of doors. She did not have a mud kitchen. We did not read good books. We watched Barbie movies—those horribly animated Barbie movies. She sat with me in fertility clinics and was promised rewards for behaving. She went to public school for a year while I was dealing with a high-risk pregnancy. There was a lot of SpongeBob.
There was the ideal, and then there was real life.
But today, those years have been redeemed. You would not know she did not receive the quiet growing years of an educational philosophy ideal. She’s neck deep in her speech therapy degree, a lover of murder mysteries and Waterhouse paintings, and we have a beautiful mother-daughter relationship.
(Enter here something about grace.)
Then, the younger brother came along. I was determined not to put him in front of the TV like I did his sister, yet he did not want to be apart from us at any turn. If we were doing lessons, he wanted to be doing lessons, and from the earliest of ages. I bought him workbooks. I figured that was better than TV and rice sensory bins spilled all over my kitchen.
There was the ideal, and then there was real life.
But today, those years have been redeemed. You would not know he did not receive the quiet growing years of an educational philosophy ideal. He writes pages-long narrations, and we have grand conversations in the truck on the way to jiu-jitsu. He is my gamer (so much for not putting him in front of the TV), but also my personal Tolkien. He writes stories and puts together campaigns for our Dungeons and Dragons family game night.
(Enter here something about grace.)
And then came my littlest. I thought I knew more then, so we tried to spend more time outside and read more books. But there was also real life and learning about autism, nervous system disabilities, and sensory needs. Small things can feel like Very Big Things. Sometimes, you have to swallow your educational philosophy pride, eat your words, and buy the workbooks, fidget toys, or whatever is best for you or your born person in your particular season. There are ideals, but then there is real life.
But we can live in anticipation of future grace. The same grace we’ve received before will be given to us again. We will see things redeemed.
It’s important to remember these things when the internet leaves us feeling like the ideal is the norm. It isn’t. Life doesn’t run in a straight line. We must find a balance between ideals and real life, which will make us uncomfortable, but we’ll be better people because of it.
Charlotte Mason’s educational philosophy gives us plenty of fodder for ideals to dream up. This is good and right, but we must not stop there. We must then take our ideals to the Lord. There are ideals we dream up that the Lord asks us to let go of, and then there are the ones the Lord blesses through our perseverance. Having the discernment to know the difference is part of the work of homeschooling. It’s still a Charlotte Mason education worth pursuing.
Because our stories aren’t about how well we can apply an educational philosophy but how well we live out our faith.
(Enter here something about grace.)
Mariah Kochis 2024
Thank you so much for writing these words! Coming across them tonight has been a gift. I've been wrestling with grief over our family dealing with a hard blow of reality that has taken away the "ideal" picture I had in mind for our final child's final two years of school. It's proving hard to accept almost 20 years of homeschooling coming to a close in the midst of such a difficult season. Your words have encouraged me greatly tonight.
"Because our stories aren’t about how well we can apply an educational philosophy but how well we live out our faith."
I will be holding onto these words as they have helped me so much. Thank you.